Essays on AAYUSHYA

i want better conversations

Fri, 03 Jul 2026 00:00:00 +0000

when i was a kid i didn’t talk much. i have NO idea why. this is something that i think about very often. when you just spawned right, when you’re like one minute old, what information do you have? what do you have in you that makes you different from others?

aren’t all those kids the same? the little ones. minute old ones. i just LLM’ed this and i feel dumb. obviously all the kids are different even before they are born. but anyways, that’s not why im writing this(disclaimer: i dont know why im writing this)

desire to be significant

Fri, 19 Jun 2026 00:00:00 +0000

I (we) have a burning desire to be significant as a human. Maybe not everyone has it, I do.
By time I’ve realized this pleasure is pretty hard to achieve. The bar is too high.

can you be happy if you’re significant? we know a lot of people who were so significant to society but not happy.
Tesla struggled with business acumen and was often outmaneuvered by profit-driven contemporaries. He spent his final decades living in a series of New York hotels, steadily running out of money while working on increasingly eccentric, unfunded projects. He died practically penniless and alone in his room at the New Yorker Hotel in 1943.
Van Gogh is one of the most famous and influential figures in the history of Western art. His expressive use of color and bold brushwork profoundly impacted expressionism and the trajectory of modern art.
His life was filled with severe poverty, malnutrition, and worsening mental health crises. He sold only one painting during his lifetime and spent his final years considering himself an absolute failure. He died by suicide at the age of 37 in 1890, entirely unaware of the immense legacy he would leave behind.
there’s one more:
The theoretical father of computer science and artificial intelligence, Turing’s work in cracking the Enigma code during World War II arguably shortened the conflict by years and saved millions of lives. His concept of the “Universal Turing Machine” laid the foundation for all modern computing. In 1952, Turing was prosecuted by the British government for homosexual acts. To avoid prison, he accepted chemical castration, which severely impacted his physical and mental health. Stripped of his security clearance and treated as a criminal by the country he helped save, Turing died in 1954 from cyanide poisoning. An inquest ruled it a suicide.

All of these “significant” people died, a catastrophic death. They didn’t know what they “left” behind.

Two months of writing code and building things

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 00:00:00 +0000

If you didn’t know, I recently started writing more. Published a new website. Yes, the website you’re reading this at.
The reason was to get good at understanding and learning.
With the coming of AI, writing code has never been easier. And to be honest, I don’t think AI has any role in this. This was way before AI came.
The main thing that drives the world imo is an idea. Ideas and implementations.
Now the way we implement things have been changing since ages.
The one example I like to think about is of the compilers and assembly programmers when C language came.
Pretty sure all of them were in the same position developers today are.
But that’s another story. Implementations change, but the most thing that drives technology, sciences, math and all the important stuff, are, as i said, ideas.
And to get better ideas, we don’t just need intellect. No.
We need creativity, we need people who can understand deeply. Who can think.
And I don’t use the word think in a lighter manner.
Thinking was never easy.
And in today’s world, it’s even harder.
Which is why I started writing. Because believe me or not, writing is thinking.
Every week I have this essay that I have to think about, learn, and write about.